Some of my White friends have reached out to me personally to let me know that they believe Black lives matter and that I should let them know if there's anything they can do to help. I am so grateful for these friends, who are potential allies (please (continue to) do your homework on how to realize your ally/accomplice potential). I never know how to respond about how they can help me, though. Like, what are my choices? Here are some ideas:
-In addition to telling me Black lives matter to you (thanks again, it helps to know, because I recently learned that a leader of a "mama movement" I was interested in is actually not anti-racist--this one is still hitting me, but I guess it was not safe to assume), also tell others (in your family, church, and other circles). Be brave and use analogies that will help them understand how the "all lives matter" response sounds (like the shouting about other cancers at a breast cancer event or the yelling that all children are special at a birthday or funeral event). Summary: spread the word and try to make it easy to understand and digest
-If you have kids, talk to them about racism and talk to them about what makes your family anti-racist. They are not too young. Or too old. If you don't know what makes your family anti-racist, do some research and make decisions about how you and your family can do your part to combat racism.
-Being non-racist is not enough. To combat racism, you have to be anti-racist. Do not remain silent. Have courage and speak up. You will be proud when you look in the mirror.
-If you are a Christian, act like Jesus. Pastor friends, it is your duty to remind your people to act like Jesus, in their thinking, in their words, and especially in their actions. Black lives matter to Jesus. If you doubt that, I am not sure you can call yourself a Christian. Again, remind others about this.
-Capitalize the B in Black. Capitalize the W in White too.
-Shower Black people with love. We are hurting right now. We live here knowing that this country has never truly loved us. Show us you care. Send a card, plant, meal, money ($drnecook, paypal.me/natacook). Do what you would do if we just lost a loved one. We did. More than one. We are grieving. We are traumatized. Spare us the thought of having to figure out dinner in between reading about the latest atrocity.
-If you pray, pray for healing for us all.
-Support a Black-owned small business. If you have the power to make decisions about catering, consulting, or contracting, include a Black-owned company in your consideration.
-VOTE accordingly and encourage others who may be undecided to vote too. Do vote.
-Empathize with us. Be patient with us.
-Carve out a moment for some self-reflection. Think about questions like: Who am I? What do I believe is right and wrong? What do I want my children to believe? What do I believe that I don't want others to know I believe? What can I do to overcome these beliefs? What am I saying or doing (or failing to do or say) to support Black people, who matter just as much as I do? Do I believe Black people matter as much as I do? What do I need to learn or unlearn to become a better person? Look in the mirror, into your own eyes. Be honest with yourself. I'm doing this too.